Birthday

Happy Birthday Judy. I have thought about you so much lately with the death of S's dad. We had time to prepare for his death. Time to realize it was going to happen instead of getting a phone call letting us know he was gone.

Sometimes I am so angry at you and sometimes infinitely sad because I wasn't there like I should have been. Now there is nothing I can do but regret. I don't know if anything I could have said would have made a difference, but I didn't try.

I still cry for you. I still refuse to think about you sometimes, but end up doing exactly the thing I don't want to do. I have a hole where you should be. Not even my mother's death could leave anything remotely close.

I know that you are at peace and at rest now, but it is still so hard to be without you. Tell God & the angels hello - I will see you soon. I love you Judy. Always will.

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